That quote comes from my favorite guide (You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life) and is highly appropriate coming off of the week of no complaints.

To ensure that I complained as little as possible, I hung notes for myself all around the house reminding myself it was no complaint week, as well as hanging it on my computer at work, and getting my coworkers to help call me out (which they found to be HIGHLY enjoyable hahaha).

CHALLENGE: Have at least one full week, 7 days, where you just allow yourself to be happy, not complain about anything, but relish on all the good in your life and around you – JEB

To be 100% honest, there were a few complaints in there (hey, it happens). However, they mostly had to do with (1) feeling ill on Tuesday, and (2) minor annoyances in daily life.

I did learn though that bitching about things is basically worthless talk. I mean really – how much does complaining REALLY get us? Unless you are complaining to a company about a service or something with a direct result, it mostly just hinders us. It drags down our mood.

The biggest realization has been that not complaining helps me to stay focused and happier than complaining ever did.

Maybe this seems obvious to ya’ll – but you should actually TRY to go a week without complaining. It will really have an impact then.

One of my close family friends, who runs a page called “Happy Sunday Ya’ll” put it perfectly:

It’s something we have all heard, but rarely sit and think about.

You get back what you put out into the world. So why not put happiness out there? Why not be grateful for all that you have been blessed with?

Yes, we all have our problems and issues in life – but if you’re reading this, you can’t be totally destitute.

So the next time you want to bitch, take a second and turn it around. Be grateful that that might be the worst thing going on in your life at that moment.

 

As for the other challenges, here’s how those are going:

COMPLETED

Get the haircut you’ve always wanted, but never thought you could pull off (you can!) – MM

This one I am altering slightly. I have no fear when it comes to getting my hair cut or colored – as evidenced by the pictures below.

However, I never thought that I would cut my hair myself.

That is, until a few weekends ago. I was just frustrated in my hair, it was bugging me with its length and weight, so I grabbed a pair of scissors and just cut off about 4-5 inches.

Lord, I wish I had had a camera to capture my husband’s face when he came into the bathroom! It takes a lot to shock my easy-going hubby, and his face was priceless!

I love it and it’s the perfect length for summer now – so I would say cutting my hair myself, on the spur of the moment, qualifies to complete this challenge!

 

ONGOING

Send a card to someone (as many different someones) every day. – MA [Working on it as of 6-25-16]

Still continuing to do this. Still sending postcards and letters to loved ones and friends 🙂 I love the thought of them getting little bits of love from me randomly.

 

PLANNING

Learn ASL (Learn a New Language) – SR, MK

Working on this one. I have a friend who is going to Skype with me to help me work on it, and I also plan on attending local meetups to practice.

I know the alphabet already, but I want to get much better!

 

Take an online class and learn to make your own greeting cards! – TH

Instead of just taking an online class (although I do have my eye on this one and this one from Brit + Co), I am also going to scour YouTube to help me with this.

I have a watercolor set and canvases that have been sitting in a drawer for a long time. It used to be that I would paint to get out my frustrations at one of my previous jobs. However, since I love my job now and things have been relatively happy – I haven’t felt the need to angry paint in awhile.

Therefore, I want to put those tools to good use and really learn to paint watercolor paintings (and maybe, eventually, greeting cards for the holidays?). I will be sharing pictures of these escapades on social media – so feel free to follow along 🙂

 

Read all of the books I own – Me [Working on it as of 6-20-16]

I have been on a reading SPREE lately. To the detriment of my sleep (oops) and cleaning (double oops). But it’s worth it to actually just enjoy the pleasure of a good book.

Since I will be continuing this challenge throughout the year, I have decided to make a page for my book reviews. I will also be sharing them on Goodreads and Litsy, if you want to join me over there.

I likely could spend every post just discussing the books I read, so to make things easier, I will give them their own section 🙂 Feel free to join me under Bitchin’ Books for all the highlights.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS ON ONE OTHER CHALLENGE

Strengthen relationships formed throughout your life. – KBH

This challenge is something I am working on today! One of my good friends from college, with whom I had drifted apart from post-graduation, had a reunion of sorts last year.

When I was going through my own personal hell, she reached out and helped me in a myriad of ways – despite us not having talked in years.

That compassion and caring are proof of the good people in this world, and I am ECSTATIC that her and I are about to be reunited today at a sporting event!

This is a challenge I am going to work to cultivate as the entire year of challenges goes on. However, it is one that is so important in today’s ever-evolving, digitized world.

We all have people that we wish we had kept in contact with. That meant a lot to us when we were close. And we likely have the means to be reunited with them again if we wanted.

Chances are, you could reach out to them on Facebook or via text. So why not do it?

You may think it’s been too long. Or they won’t want to hear from you. Or that you’ll have nothing to say.

But why let that hold you back?

Last year, my friend could have easily thought those things. And yet, she still reached out to me and it meant the world. It made a horrible time in my life less awful to know that she cared, even after all this time.

Do that for someone. Be that for someone.

Everyone could use a kind word or a little extra love in their life. Go ahead and spread a little bit of happiness today. It will cost you nothing and will only send good out into the world.

Until next time!

Always,

Amanda

 

My mother is going to be appalled by this title, but I always love using that phrase. Mostly to see the shocked looks people give me. hahaha.

It’s really so easy to fall  into a routine. You get up, you do your usually morning bit, you go to work, you come home, you eat dinner, you go to bed. And you get up and do it all over again the next day.

FOOD INSPIRED REFLECTION

Randomly, what made me think of this was making my hubby and I’s favorite buffalo chicken dip this past holiday weekend. Yes, buffalo chicken dip inspired deep introspection. Because food = life.

But I digress. The introspection began when I realized that we always make this dip for holidays or get togethers. Mostly because it’s SUPER easy to make, plus it’s unreasonably delicious.

And that makes sense – with busy lives, you don’t want to have to worry about crafting some ridiculously hard dip. This one is hardly any work and it’s always a crowd pleaser.

But that is where being convenient sometimes gets in the way. I began to wonder – did I even really WANT this dip? Or was I making it because that’s what we always did?

And that led me to realize why I have had such a hard time getting my challenges truly started.

BREAKING OUT OF ROUTINE

Because it’s so much easier to follow my routine instead of making the  harder effort to break out of it and actually DO all the things I asked people to challenge me to.

And that was why I wanted to do these challenges in the first place. Because after being made so ridiculously uncomfortable during the shitastic year I had last year, it ended up leading me to finding out who I really was.

So I thought that if after a few horrible experiences that made me uncomfortable, I was able to grow so much – then what would happen if I had a ton of uncomfortable experiences, one after the other?

PROMISE & PARTING THOUGHTS

Here’s my promise to myself – I will create a schedule for these challenges, so I can truly plan them out and get them done.

And even better, I found some  inspiration in one of my favorite book: You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero.

I have read this book through so many times that I have tabbed it to death, and filled it with highlighting and notes.

Whenever I am in need of a good kick in the ass, I open the book up to one of those tabs, and it always gives me an excellent nugget of truth.

When I did that today, I got this:

“When you make a no-nonsense decision, you sign up fully and keep moving forward toward your goal, regardless of what’s flung in your path. And stuff will most definitely get flung, which is why making the decision is so crucial–this shit is not for sissies. The moment it gets hard or expensive or puts you at risk of looking like a moron, if you haven’t made the decision, you’ll quit. If it wasn’t uncomfortable, everyone would be out there all in love with their fabulous lives.”

There you go folks. How perfectly fitting.

I am signing up fully for this journey, here and now!

Catch ya’ll on the flip side.

Always,

Amanda

 

What a week it has been.

I know this blog is supposed to be about my journey through my challenges, but I cannot act like my life is happening in isolation from what is going on in the rest of our country.

I spent yesterday crying on and off for the families of all those slain this week. For both the officers and Mr. Castile and Mr. Sterling.

There were so many times over the past few days that I typed out a visceral, angry response to what has happened. Where I cast blame and threw barbs and pointed fingers.

And while I may still feel upset, I realized that immediately throwing hate back at hate isn’t going to fix this.

People are always shocked that I can discuss highly controversial issues without getting truly angry – at least in person. Some of my absolute best friends in the world live on the opposite end of the political spectrum. Even my father and I have passionate disagreements.

These five women and I have had discussions ranging from everything from gay marriage, to abortion, to the Bible and more. And yet, as you can tell, we have a close-knit bond.

I realized though that when I went online, it was different. Instead of bringing to bear the same passion and respect that I had in person, I would just go on tirades. And while many agreed with me, there were many who would immediately be turned off. Not because what I said was wrong. But because of how I said it.

Discussions about issues such as race should be thoughtful and nuanced. Instead, we are so ready for that soundbite. So ready for that one thing we can take and run with and point to on social media. And none of that is going to get us anywhere.

Race is an issue that has been woven into the fabric of our country since it began. Even Lin-Manuel Miranda discusses it in Hamilton. In the song Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down), the lyrics read (emphasis is mine):

[HAMILTON]
After a week of fighting, a young man in a red coat stands on a parapet

[LAFAYETTE]
We lower our guns as he frantically waves a white handkerchief

[MULLIGAN]
And just like that, it’s over. We tend to our wounded, we count our dead

[LAURENS]
Black and white soldiers wonder alike if this really means freedom

[WASHINGTON]
Not. Yet.

Another one of my best friends and I have had numerous discussions on race. And yes, he is black. I know the tired trope about “But my best friend is black!” But he really is one my of best friends, so it is what it is.

Something that stuck with me last year when he and I had a discussion about the entire Rachel Dolezal nonsense was that he identifies first as black, before any other qualifiers. That is something that is woven into his being, as it is in so many others, because of the way we have continued to treat anyone of color in our country.

Another good friend of mine often posts about his experiences being treated differently and disrespectfully, despite the fact that he owns his own law practice and is generally one of the most stand-up guys I know. (Honestly, I was sometimes annoyed with him in law school because he just seemed so GOOD at everything hahaha).

The reason I point these things out though is because all of these discussions have come about – be it about race, sexual orientation, abortion, guns – because my friends and I were willing to actually sit and talk.

Without taking things personally. Without being accusatory. Without mocking the other side, or saying that they are “sheep,” or that they just hate all LGBT/black/pro-choice/whatever people.

We didn’t degrade each other’s intelligence. We didn’t call each other names. We actually listened.

And yes, sometimes it’s hard. Growing and learning can be painful. How many times do you fall down when you’re a child learning to walk? But that doesn’t mean you give up and never try to walk again. It means you take what you learned and move forward.

When I first heard about white privilege, I got defensive. It’s a fairly common reaction amongst white people. Because, of course, no one’s life is without suffering. So many mistake white privilege to mean that white people have everything handed to them or have it so easy. Obviously, that is not the case. All of us suffer in our own way.

But at the same time, yes, the color of your skin DOES offer you advantages in treatment and in life. It is an immutable fact, backed up by evidence.

That is not to say that you don’t work hard. I know most people do (especially Millennials, but that’s another post for another day). But you are given inherent advantages.

Accepting this is just one part of the discussion, though.

All sides need to be able to sit down and discuss ways to change, grow, and move forward.

I hate that I have to offer this caveat, but no, I do not think all cops are racist – but are there some racist cops and others with inherent biases? Yes.

And no, not all #BlackLivesMatter members want police killed. Do I think there are a few militant members? Probably. But they are not the majority.

We MUST stop living in extremes and look instead at what unites us. We need to find that middle ground, that so often seems to get lost in the “us” vs. “them” discussions on social media.

And in some small part, I am going to do the very best I can to offer only thoughtful, articulate, and non-accusatory and non-inflammatory statements on the issues we face as a country.

I have been given much in my life. That’s not to say I haven’t suffered (last year will attest to that), but I have been blessed to present as white, and I will use that basis from which to speak for those whose voices have been silenced for too long.

Lastly, to keep this as part of my challenges, I am also going to take on the challenge of not complaining for a week. If this past week has shown me anything, it’s to love my family and friends as much as possible and be grateful for all that I have been blessed with.

So starting today, I am going to only focus on the positive and attempt to go a week without complaining in the slightest.

I leave you with one of the best quotes I have heard all week: “Don’t hate evil more than you love good.”

 

Always,

Amanda